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“All of this has happened before, and will happen again.”

Sweet! We’re now watching Battlestar Galactica! Or not.

Apparently BSG lifted one of their most famous lines from Peter Pan. Which is odd that such a notion would even come up in Peter Pan. The entire idea is that of a cyclical story or universe. And here Peter Pan is a story about an unchanging boy who never grows up. Or perhaps not since we all know Peter does grow up to become Robin Williams and then goes back to Neverland to have another epic battle with Hook who apparently the Croc decided wasn’t so tasty. All those sharp metal bits and everything I suppose.

Meanwhile, this version starts with John and Michael acting out stories they heard from their sister, Wendy who learned them from… uh, I’m not sure. But it’s all legit, because she’s got Peter’s shadow who probably told her everything. With shadow puppets or something.

But apparently the stories have turned the kids into rapscallions because dad gets pissed and tells Wendy she’s got to get her own room and leave the nursery. Awful, right? I mean, what kid doesn’t want their own room?

Wendy. That’s who. But Peter drops by looking for his shadow and teaches them all to fly off to Neverland. He probably took a liking to the boys given that Peter was voiced by fellow rapscallion Bobby Driscoll who died at age 31 due to drug abuse which he probably picked up from the Indians the kids hunt in Neverland. Neverland is, of course, somewhere in the vicinity of the second star to the right. In the movie, this is shown as a pair of stars of very nearly equal brightness rather close to one another. Being an astronomer type, I suspect I know which stars these are: Castor and Pollux in the constellation Gemini (the twins).

I think it’s a pretty good fit, but unfortunately, the star to the right, Castor, isn’t likely to have any planets around it. It’s a quadruple star system. The main star we see has a companion in orbit around it that was discovered in 1678, but both of those stars have other stars in orbit around them in very close orbits. While stars can theoretically survive in multiple star systems (either by being very close in while the other star is very far out or vice versa), the arrangement of all these stars, covering both the close in and the far out, would pull a potential Planet Neverland out of orbit, either throwing it into the parent star, or flinging it out of the system all together.

Anyway, they all get to Neverland, wherever it is, and Hook takes potshots at them. What a jerk. Peter distracts the pirates while Tinkerbell tries to get the Lost Boys to shoot down the Wendy Bird. Apparently this continues the trend of Disney characters having trouble with the idea of what a “bird” looks like. They get over it because Wendy’s not a bird, she’s a mother. And she wants to see the mermaids. And being the gentleman, what with his very fine hat, escorts her to see the mermaids. Who try to kill her because Peter’s apparently so hawt that all the girls want him. So they’re murderous mermaids. Mmm. Alliteration.

On the other side of the island the boys have been captures by the Indians who are threatening to burn them at the stake if they don’t return Princess Tiger Lily (she’s a fierce flower? Mmm. Alliteration). Fortunately, Hook happens to wander into Mermaid Cove to interrogate Tiger Lilly. With the help of some voice impressions (Robin Williams style), Peter tricks Hook’s assistant, Smee, into freeing Tiger Lily long enough for them to escape with the help of the Tick Tock Crock. They return Tiger Lily and have a wild rumpus pow-wow learning all sorts of things about the tribe, which are really more of “Just So Stories” similar to how we learned that wolves howl at the moon because Pecos Bill’s beloved bounced up there in Melody Time.

But again, Tiger Lily starts making eyes at Peter and Wendy gets jealous and convinces her brothers to leave. However, Hook has tricked Tinkerbell into divulging the location of the hideout and sets a nefarious trap for them. The pirates capture the kids and leaves a bomb for Peter. Tinkerbell escapes and saves Peter and the pair rush to save the kids from walking the plank into obviously Crocodile infested waters. Although, one must wonder if the Crocodile would really have gone for kids given that he’d already developed a taste for Hook meat. Beggers can’t be choosers I guess.

But the Croc never gets his tender feast because Peter rescues the kids and initiating the battle with the Final Boss. The pirates lose the battle and Peter captures the ship and flies it back to London somehow. I’m still fuzzy on that one. After all, flying requires happy thoughts and what does a ship think about to make it happy? Again, Melody Time probably has the answers in the Little Toot segment.

They drop off Wendy, John, and Michael and they all go to sleep. Their father finds Wendy asleep at the window. He looks out and sees a cloud pirate ship sailing back towards a pair of bright stars. Of course, he could just be imagining things. After all, people see things in the clouds all the time.

But I’m getting ahead of myself….

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